How to Transcend Your Ego's Game

How to Transcend Your Ego's Game -By- Margot Zaher and Jafree Ozwald

What kind of game is your ego playing? Hide and Seek? Chess? Monopoly? Everybody's ego has a certain way of relating to the world in order to get its needs met. When you were young, your ego/mind adopted one primary way of interacting with the world in order to cope with deep feelings of being disconnected from Source. Each of us chose to embrace some sort of ego game because we craved, deep in our souls, to be reunited with the intense feelings of love that come from living in Source. We mistakenly believed that if we joined one of the ego games that everybody around us was playing, we would naturally feel these great feelings. As we grew older and bought mo re and more into the illusion of being disconnected from Source, we unconsciously began projecting this separate, helpless, powerless ego-self onto our relationships and our lives.

"Life is a mirror. When you smile at it, it is charming and when you frown at it, it is a sinister. It is what you are and not what you see." ~Author Unknown

Whenever your ego feels somehow threatened or uncomfortable, it uses its coping strategies to manipulate the world and get whatever it desires. Your ego adopts certain attitudes, beliefs, judgments and ways of appearing to others to get its needs met. It's this combination of masks and cunningness that make up your ego game. For instance, one person may have a game of being nice to everybody they meet, to get everyone to like them. Another person may be rude, authoritative, mean and nasty with people to keep everyone at a distance and feel powerful. Games like these are what the ego plays in order to get love, approval, appreciation and at a deeper level to discover a profound connection to the divine essence of who they truly are.

"The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it." ~Tim Reeter

While others can almost always see our games easily (especially those who are in an intimate relationship with us), we are often blind to the ego game we are playing inside. We may even fight someone who tries to show us the truth of the game we are engaged in. The ego would rather be right about its opinion, than happy or peaceful. It keeps you mesmerized by the drama of the situation, so that you don't have to see the divine brilliance of your authentic Self. If the ego actually saw how totally amazing, wildly exotic, powerful and truly blessed you actually are, it would have to die. The fastest way out of any suffering that you are encountering is lear ning how to see the game your ego is repetitively playing.

Once you pierce the veil of your ego's strategy, and surrender to a deeper connection with Source, you can begin to experience true freedom on all levels of your life and have authentic heart-based loving relationships. Once you truly are free of your ego games, you can connect with ANYONE from a profound space of truth, love and see the real beauty that is inherent in all human beings. Discovering and transcending your ego's game is one of the most challenging, yet beautiful gifts you can give yourself.

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than what others say about him." ~ Leo Aikman

To help you identify your illusionary ego, here are a few common ego game identities that people play with. Each of these ego identities holds a belief about itself and copes with the world by embodying this way of being.

- Mr. Defensive: "I want nobody to like me. If I am unlovable, I can never be hurt again."

- Mr. Enlightened: "I am above it all and don't have any problems or places where I need to grow in my life. Everybody else has problems."

- Mr. Nice Guy: "I want everybody to like me. I am a really a great and loving person."

- Miss. Perfect: "Everything must be perfect in my world. If things are not in order something terrible will happen."

- Miss. Lone Ranger: "I don't need anybody to help me. I am so strong and independent."

- Miss SuperGirl: "I must be successful at all costs. If I am not successful, I am nothing."

One of the most important things that you can do is figure out the ego game that is running your life. The first clue to look at how you tend to act, behave and respond to others generally, specifically when you are feeling uncomfortable. Most people revert back to one way of operating and repeat it over and over their entire life. This game runs every aspect of their lives from their personal life to their financial life. For instance, if your ego plays the Superman or SuperGirl game, your whole life may be about accomplishment to such an extent that you only think of things as how will this help you be more successful. You may ignore your relationships in favor of professional success, or even use relationships to help you create more success. The point is that you build your life around whatever game your ego wants to play and this may stop you from having the kind of life you truly love.

"Each one of us is invincible until the day we are proven wrong." ~Tristan Rhys-Taylor

The biggest game of all however is believing that your ego is real. It's about as real as a mirage in the desert. You walk up to a mirage and think there is an oasis of water there, yet when you reach into it you only pull up a handful of sand. When we hold onto this illusion that the ego exists, we remain trappe d in the cyclical wheel of suffering forever. The truth is that the game you are playing will eventually blow up like a balloon and explode! This way may be painful, yet you will one day see how the ego never truly satisfies. Only finding your true authentic self will satisfy you, and truly abolish the illusionary ego from its grip on you forever.

It is difficult to manifest what you truly desire when your ego is in the way. It causes an energetic block to the feelings and thoughts that allow your dreams to manifest. Uncovering your ego game will make you into a manifesting magician! It will set you soooo free so that you stay focused in the direction of your dreams and naturally attract whatever you desire. Remember that behind this ego masquerade is what you have been searching for, the infinite loving essence that loves every part of who you are. So let's strip off that ego mask today, and discover the truth of who you really are. You deserve to live from the m ost enlightened place of all, where you know yourself as the Divine Authentic Self.

A Poem for India by Javed Akhtar

It was here, on this day it was here at this hour After centuries of darkness had us in their power It was here that we won as we turned back the night It was here that we cheered as we won the fight Long live Hindustan, darkness is in flight It was here that we stood and swore we would make A pledge for our beloved Bharat’s sake To wipe out the blemish of indignity and strife And bring a message of healing to Bharat’s life Our journey of freedom began here on this day As Vande Mataram rang out, we set out on our way.
On the highway of time as our caravan lands We see clearly where the sixtieth milestone stands If asked to recount all that we have done Go, ask them to see, go tell everyone The seed of democracy we’ve planted in our earth Is a large, leafy banyan of a generous girth Don’t ask of those who’ve sheltered in its shade Its bounty extends to where limits fade Each particle challenges the universe now And victims of cruelty, they’ll not simply bow Those silenced for centuries want justice and cry Answer our questions we want to know why
It was not long ago it was just yesterday There was nothing over which we ruled or held sway It was foreign rule that extracted all our wealth Our Swadeshi way of life was destroyed by stealth Dependent on others, for the tiniest things were we Who give so much to the world, now that we are free And millions of faces are all aglow For new hopes are rising as new winds blow Favours there were none; ’tis no mean prize By its own toil Bharat continues to rise While the world looks on at it in surprise
As we celebrate our success we must also know That it’s not reached its zenith, our story must grow We have come a long way but there are fears Though many lips have smiles, still it appears Many eyes are moist, many filled with tears.
It was here, on this day it was here at this hour We dreamed, a vision began to flower Now, the travelers are compelled to ask Every conscience is faced with this daunting task Do we remember the pledge we made on this day? Have we abandoned our dream somewhere on the way? Have we accomplished the task we set out to do? And the promises made to ourselves, were those true?
Who dwells in our memory with his spinning wheel? Who reminds us constantly and makes this appeal? To redeem our pledge, on this day let us ensure That our caravan not falter on any score Oh travelers, we must yet travel some more.

Javed Akhtar
Mumbai
13 July 2007

Friendship Day Special - 2

Your heart is filled with pain,
Your mind cluttered with confusion.

Pieces of your life fall around you
Like raindrops in a storm.

The path you chose so long ago
Led you straight to hurts door.

Now your weary feet struggle
To find the road back home,
Searching for the places
That love and beauty hide.

Temptations lie in wait all around,
Pulling at your every step,
Waiting for you to slide back
From the chosen, sought for, path.

Emptiness surrounds you,
Confusing your perceptions.
It is difficult to carry on.

I will do my best to fill your heart with joy,
To clear the cobwebs of confusion,
Help you find your purpose.

I am good at catching pieces
And I can chase away a storm.

Let me walk your path beside you,
I have walked this road before.

You can lean on me when the weariness comes.
My shoulders are very strong.

I can not fight your battles,
Or chase away demons of the soul,
But I can lend you my strength
Until you find your own.

I will help you find the courage
To face each day anew.

I can not shorten the journey you must make,
The road is just as long as before.

But I can fill the emptiness
And help you reach your center,
The place where love and beauty hide.

Take my hand, be my friend,
Let me walk with you awhile.

Friendship Day Special - 1

When looking at my lovely bouquet,
of friendship's faces.
Picked from so many,
wonderful and different places.

It suddenly came bursting,
with such delight.
How each one made up,
a most beautiful sight.

Though it has taken my life-time,
to add each one.
I know that still yet,
my task is not done.

For I shall continue to gather,
along life's pathway.
More radiant faces,
that I shall display.

But dear FRIEND!
This I want you to know.
It will be your flower,
the first that I show.

Thanks, for all the memories,
both of laughter and tears.
They will always be with me,
throughout the coming years.

Friendship Day Special

Jack* tossed the papers on my desk -- his eyebrows knit into a straight line as he glared at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He jabbed a finger at the proposal. "Next time you want to change anything, ask me first," he said, turning on his heels and leaving me stewing in anger.

How dare he treat me like that, I thought. I had changed one long sentence, and corrected grammar -- something I thought I was paid to do.

It's not that I hadn't been warned. The other women, who had served in my place before me, called him names I couldn't repeat. One co-worker took me aside the first day. "He's personally responsible for two different secretaries leaving the firm," she whispered.

As the weeks went by, I grew to despise Jack. It was against everything I believed in -- turn the other cheek and love your enemies. But Jack quickly slapped a verbal insult on any cheek turned his way. I prayed about it, but to be honest, I wanted to put him in his place, not love him.

One day, another of his episodes left me in tears. I stormed into his office, prepared to lose my job if needed, but not before I let the man know how I felt. I opened the door and Jack glanced up.

"What?" he said abruptly.

Suddenly I knew what I had to do. After all, he deserved it.

I sat across from him. "Jack, the way you've been treating me is wrong. I've never had anyone speak to me that way. As a professional, it's wrong, and it's wrong for me to allow it to continue," I said. Jack snickered nervously and leaned back in his chair. I closed my eyes briefly. God help me, I prayed.

"I want to make you a promise. I will be a friend," I said. "I will treat you as you deserve to be treated, with respect and kindness. You deserve that," I said. "Everybody does." I slipped out of the chair and closed the door behind me.

Jack avoided me the rest of the week. Proposals, specs, and letters appeared on my desk while I was at lunch, and the corrected versions were not seen again. I brought cookies to the office one day and left a batch on Jack's desk. Another day I left a note. "Hope your day is going great," it read.

Over the next few weeks, Jack reappeared. He was reserved, but there were no other episodes. Co-workers cornered me in the break room.

"Guess you got to Jack," they said. "You must have told him off good." I shook my head.

"Jack and I are becoming friends," I said in faith. I refused to talk about him. Every time I saw Jack in the hall, I smiled at him. After all, that's what friends do.

One year after our "talk", I discovered I had breast cancer. I was 32, the mother of three beautiful young children, and scared. The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and the statistics were not great for long-term survival. After surgery, I visited with friends and loved ones who tried to find the right words to say. No one knew what to say. Many said the wrong things. Others wept, and I tried to encourage them. I clung to hope.

One day, the door darkened in my small hospital room and Jack stood awkwardly on the threshold. I waved him in with a smile and he walked over to my bed and, without a word, placed a bundle beside me. Inside lay several bulbs.

"Tulips," he said.

I smiled, not understanding.

He cleared his throat. "If you plant them when you get home, they'll come up next spring." He shuffled his feet. "I just wanted you to know that I think you'll be there to see them when they come up."

Tears clouded my eyes and I reached out my hand. "Thank you," I whispered.

Jack grasped my hand and gruffly replied, "You're welcome. You can't see it now, but next spring you'll see the colors I picked out for you." He turned and left without a word.

I have seen those red and white striped tulips push through the soil every spring for over ten years now. In fact, this past September the doctor declared me cured. I've seen my children graduate from high school and enter college. I've celebrated twenty-two years of marriage with my husband.

In a moment when I prayed for just the right word, a man with very few words said all the right things.

After all, that's what friends do.

Some Thoughts To Ponder

What you will find here is a specialized list. A list that provides a powerful personal philosophy of life. One that I believe can be truly Life-Changing.

Choosing One's Beliefs
Perhaps it would be a good idea, fantastic as it sounds, to muffle every telephone, stop every motor and halt all activity for an hour some day to give people a chance to ponder for a few minutes on what it is all about, why they are living and what they really want.
James Truslow Adams (1878-1949)


Living Life To It's Fullest
My own experience has taught me this: if you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won or lasting happiness achieved.
Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972)


Romancing The Present
I don't know what tomorrow will bring -- except old age and death -- but I do know that I do have today, one absolutely glorious day that I will savor and make the most of as if it were my last one... because it may be!
Gary Fenchuk


The Art of Positive Thinking
Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
Lewis L. Dunnington


Realizing One's Potential
It is very dangerous to go into eternity with possibilities which one has oneself prevented from becoming realities. A possibility is a hint from God. One must follow it.
S? Kierkegaard (1813-55)


In Search of Happiness
The fountain of contentment must spring up in the mind. He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove.
Samuel Johnson (1709-84)


Dealing With Adversity
So I close in saying that I might have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for. Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
Lou Gehrig (1903-41)


Taking Risks
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Author Unknown


Understanding Ourselves and Others
Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these.
Lloyd Shearer


Loving and Serving Others
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)


Developing Values
I once got a huge check. And the same day I got a huge hug and kiss from my child. The hug and kiss felt better.
Gary Fenchuk


Closing Thoughts
"Your task... to build a better world," God said. I answered, "How?... this world is such a large, vast place, and there's nothing I can do." But God in all His wisdom said, "just build a better you."
Author Unknown


Giggly Charm
Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth-- a sense of humor.
Unknown


Favorites
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.
Martha Graham

Heartprints

Heartprints

Whatever our hands touch--
We leave fingerprints!

On walls,on furniture,

On doorknobs, dishes, books,
As we touch we leave our identity.

Oh please where ever I go today,
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.
Heartprints of kindness
and genuine concern.

May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter,
Or an anxious mother,
Or, perhaps, a dear friend!

I shall go out today
To leave heartprints,
And if someone should say
"I felt your touch,"
May that one sense be...YOUR LOVE
Touching through ME.

Too True, Too Often

Too often we don't realize
What we have until it is gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart.

Far too many times we let
Unimportant things into our minds
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind.

So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words
Before your time is through.

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
in life that mean a lot.

-If ever you need to talk,
if ever you need some cheer,
remember you have a friend--
who always will be here...

She doesn't want a lot,
only to see you smile;
and just to see you happy,
she'll walk that proverbial mile.

Always know she cares,
no matter what you do.
You'll always find her there
to give you hugs when you are blue.

There is a saying that goes:
'You don't have to love in words,
because even through the silences,
love is always heard.'

Life Goes On...

Life Goes On...


In every human life,
there are some moments when one is sad and depressed
Frustrated from every zone of life,
And feel like leaving everything & going away
And Life Goes on ...

Some moments in which
one is wrapped with tensions
one wants to get out of them
and fly high in the sky
But cant run away, and life goes on ...

Some moments in which,
one who adores hurts sentiments,
one needs a support, a shoulder to dry on,
But doesn't find one , and life goes on ...

Some moments in which one gets tired of life
or so intensely hurt that one wants to die
one wishes to end up with
life at that very moment, and life goes on ...

And in every human life on day arrives
When there is a big halt to one's life.
And then the people cry
and show that they were concerned

Then the question arises:
Do they wait for one's death,
To care, To understand the one
If so, then wait till death and until then
LIFE GOES ON ...